How can I help my toddler talk at home?

Does what I do at home make a difference?

It can, though the gains in the research are modest. A meta-analysis (a study that pools the results of many others) of 18 studies looked at parent-implemented language interventions, where parents use the strategies with their own child. It found a significant positive effect on both understanding and talking in children aged 18 to 60 months who had language difficulties.¹ How big the effect was depended a lot on what was measured, from none to large.

A later and larger review pooled 25 randomised trials with 1,734 children, average age 3.7 years, who had or were at risk of a language difficulty. It found modest improvements in how many words children used, small improvements in how they put them together, and no clear gain in how much they understood.²

Two cautions. Those reviews tested programmes, not a list of tips like the one below, and they were about children who already had or were at risk of language difficulties. So please read what follows as sensible, widely recommended advice and not a proven recipe.

What do I do when my toddler shows me something?

Follow their lead and give them the word they need. Children pick up words most easily when what they hear matches what they're looking at, so if your child is pushing a lorry across the floor, you talk about the lorry.³ Get down to their level so they can see your face while you do it.

Then add one word to what they say. If they say "teddy", you say "fluffy teddy". If they say "I got teddy", you might answer "Yes, you've got a fluffy teddy."³ The NHS suggests the same for older toddlers: reply with a sentence a few words longer than theirs.⁴

And try comments instead of quiz questions. "What colour is that? What's it called?" can feel like an exam, and some children answer with one word or nothing at all. "Wow, I love that purple car" leaves them free to reply however they like.³ This is the kind of thing I show parents in sessions, usually with the child's own toys.

How long should I wait, and do choices help?

Wait longer than feels natural. Speech and Language UK suggests pausing for at least ten seconds after you ask a question, which can seem like a very long time.³ The pause gives your child room to think and to try a word. It also lets them join in with a song or rhyme if you stop before the last word, as in "Jack and Jill went up the…"

Choices help as well. Hold up two things, say "milk or water?", and let your child point or have a go at the word. The NHS lists giving choices as a way to build vocabulary at 12 to 18 months.⁴

Is it worth repeating books and songs?

Yes, even when you're sick of them. Children need to hear a word many times before they use it, which is why the NHS suggests repeating words, and Speech and Language UK calls repetition really important.⁴⁵ Songs with actions, such as "Pat-a-cake" or "Row, row, row your boat", help children remember the words because the actions go with them.⁴ You don't have to read the text on the page. Talking about the pictures your child likes is enough.³

The 2020 review found that interventions built around shared book reading had a significant effect on the number of words children used.²

Do gestures and signs count as talking?

They count as communicating, and I treat every way a child gets their message across as worth having: words, pointing, reaching, pulling you towards something, a sign, a picture. Being understood now often makes talking feel worth the effort. You can use gesture yourself too, because Speech and Language UK suggests actions to show what a word means, like stretching your arms wide for "huge".⁵ If you'd like to know more about signs and pictures, my page on AAC explains how they're used.

How do I fit this into an ordinary day?

You don't set aside special time. Speech and Language UK says it helps most to use these tips in daily routines, not on one-off occasions, and the NHS suggests chatting about what you're doing as you cook, shop or clean.³⁴ Turning off background television while you play helps too, because noise makes it harder for a child to listen.⁴

When should I ask for help?

Whenever you have a feeling something isn't right, and you don't need to wait and see whether these strategies work first. My guide to late talkers goes through what most children are doing at 18 months, two and three, and when a gap is worth a conversation, so I won't repeat it here.

Your first stops are free: the health visitor, your GP, or the SENCO (special educational needs coordinator) at your child's nursery. The NHS says your GP or health visitor can refer your child to the local speech and language therapy department, and that you can refer your child yourself if you prefer.⁴ Speech and Language UK also runs a free advice line, a confidential call with a speech and language advisor.⁶ If your child has stopped using words they had before, ask your GP for an appointment promptly. The RCSLT also advises taking up all the hearing tests offered, and mentioning any worries about hearing to your GP or health visitor.⁷

What happens if I get in touch?

A free 15-minute call is the easiest way in: you tell me what you've noticed and we work out together whether to go further. The first step would be an assessment, mostly play, at £270. You don't need a GP referral, and seeing me doesn't take your child off an NHS waiting list. My language and communication page covers how I work, and the fees page has every cost.